June 12, 2009

Wrong, stupid, and half as bright as you

Dan

That’s me by the way (the topic and scary pic)…

Some of my recent blog posts seem to have touched a raw nerve in the business world.  Besides the stupid comments I deleted from this blog about how stupid I am and ego-maniacal (I might actually be that one), I got a whole series of personal attacks (i.e. threats) that made me pause for a moment and reconsider…

And then I thought: WHO CARES!!!!

Can I share a little secret with you?  A huge part of long-term high-performance is understanding who you are….

Seriously.  Let me share my own personal story with you:

Concepts like discipline, hard work, goal mastery, and passion were drilled into me from an early age.  I was raised by Christian parents who were very moral people (still are) who set the bar very high for performance and personal endeavor.  I was trained in the musical arts (piano and trombone) and in public speaking.  I started my first business before I was a teenager.  I had no access to television for 18 years of my life.  In fact our house was not even wired for cable — my dad told the builder to skip it altogether.  During the summers, I had to read books for at least 2 hours per day and during school “season” I was fined if my bed was not made, shoes lined up in the closet, or (God forbid) I left the window open.  Silly or not, I was trained to be efficient and effective.

I also picked up some bad habits.  I worked so hard to be “perfect” that I spent a lot of “Dan PR” time trying to make sure everyone around me was happy with me.  Was I wearing the right thing to go the right place to see and do the right things……..  It became an internal guessing games of “am I doing everything right”.  That trickled over into my college choices, my business habits, and my selling style.  I was out to prove everything to anyone within earshot, eyeshot, or “texting range”.

And then I hit a few rough patches…  And all the critics that I was working so hard to please were no where around to help me.  They were happy to throw their mental “sucker punch” and run.  Everyone I was trying so hard to please was pleased that I was failing.  I was pushed myself to “be better” and they were providing enough criticism to feed my addiction.

It took a great coach, a great wife, therapy, and lot of experience for me to come to grips with me being me.  And guess what?  I am more successful than ever — in every sense, style, and shape of the word…  Lesson learned!

When you try to be who you are not, you waste enormous energy being someone that who is not effective.  I may be wrong.  I may be stupid.  I probably am half as bright as you are.  But I am cool with that.  Being me is pretty surreal…

But I also have a secret that you should know: Long after you give up, sit down, and throw in the towel, I will be achieving excellence because the “me” that was trained to be effective and efficient  is a warrior — and warriors conquer.

Do not apologize for greatness, achieve it.

P.S.  I had the best parents a child could ever ask for.  Thanks Mom and Dad for being rockstars!

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