8.27.2009

Your Email Just Punched Me in the Eye.

writing

Do you write a lot of emails?

Do you find that that most of your “targeted emails” never get answered?

Are you tired of having your emails ignored?

Here is my advice: try writing something that is worth reading

Seriously!  (and, NO, I am not mad about this — I just sound that way)

I got the following email in my Gnoso inbox and after about 52.5 seconds of having my life wasted went into a tirade with the team at Gnoso.  Stunningly ridiculous content from a marketing company…

Take a look:

email

What?

You want to meet because you read an article in the newspaper….  That’s your value proposition.  Nothing better?  No ways that I benefit other than supporting your business with my money (and feeling good about it)?  Nothing?

(By the way, no one here is named “Steve”…)

Here is the scientific formula for that crock of menagerie:

Bad homework + boring content = boiling readers…

Next time you stop to write your “target customer” an email, stop and think about what you are doing.  Take the opportunity to communicate seriously.  And think of the benefits — people won’t hate you and you might make some sales.

Here are 7 DEWlicious conversation observations:

  1. Stop trying to impress me with your name drops of big companies (that I don’t really know or care about)…
  2. Don’t make a lame reason for why I should keep reading or schedule you on my calendar.  When I do meet you, I already think you’re lame…
  3. Thanks and appreciation should be for what you have done for me not for how you “feel” about me…
  4. ummmmm….. please, please, please do some research on me, my name, and what I care about…. (I own www.danielwaldschmidt.com so it shouldn’t be too hard
  5. No intrigue = no interest (I don’t want to know the “why” and the “how” – just the “what”)….
  6. More than 5-6 sentences and I start getting bored…
  7. I don’t care about you.  I care about me.  Care about me too…

Great email content is a skill that we all need to work on.  This is a start!

And here — in case you missed it the first time:

I don’t care about you.  I care about me.  Care about me too…

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  • Ady Warner

    Good to see that people still know what they are talking about. So much BS around these days!

  • Jill Stelfox

    Love this post – it is the best!

  • Pingback: E-mail issues – is it about you or me?

  • Wiley

    Holy crap….THAT was the first impression he chose to give you?? Ramble, ramble, ramble…..those types of emails illicit the voice on the other end of the phone in Charlie Brown (wha-wha-wa-whaaa) through the reader's head. No strategy, no value, no due diligence.

    Good post!

  • Lori Moore

    Great rant…er post, Daniel! Most people don't understand that most people don't care about the Marshmallow Fluff. They want to know that you have taken the time to at least appear to care about their needs, and can do something tangible to fill them.

    Always love hearing/reading what you have to say.

  • Kori

    Great post…Email is a great prospecting tool when used correctly. From the subject line to the value prop. You need to be clear and concise to make it work. With years of fine tuning I have a formula that seems to work.

    Subject: Can we set a time?

    BODY: Hi Daniel,

    Our solutions conisistently reduce time, effort and costs while increasing accuracy of the proofreading workflow for pharmaceutical companies.

    I want to set up a time to discuss these results with you and how they can impact your team at XXXXX Pharma.

    Would you be available either Tuesday September 8th at 9am or Thursday September 10th at 3pm?

    Please let me know.

    Thank you

    Kori

    This simple email has illicited the highest response rate I have ever achieved.

    I find a great technique to test your email is by reading out loud as if it were a telephone call. That usually gives a good indication if you are on to something good or if you have a bad case of verbal diarrhea!

  • Ady Warner

    Your site has been a great inspiration and the knowledge gained has gotten me past the obstacle blocking my way.

  • Pingback: Stop Shouting at Me « The DEW View!

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