12.16.2010

Sales Sulking and the Misfit Nonsense of Demanding Fairness.

Life isn’t fair.

It’s not even close to fair.

Not in relationships. Not in the sales process. Not in negotiating, closing, or getting signatures on your final contract.

Someone always has the advantage.

And most of the time that someone is NOT you.

That isn’t fair.

But you knew that already.

Your mom told you that decades ago.

And now, suddenly you get in the sales arena and expect that evertything has changed.

That unless you can do the deal on your terms, you’re not interested. That unless you know heading in that you have won that you won’t start fighting.

That type of misfit nonsense is absolute silliness.

It’s tripe. It’s sales sulking.

It’s you with a huge inferiority complex trying to guilt the world into giving you something you don’t deserve.

You don’t deserve fairness.
You don’t deserve honesty
You don’t deserve an even break

You deserve the opportunity to wake up each morning and enter the arena.

The lions may be circling. The crowd may be cheering for the other gladiators. But for now, you are alive, and smiling in spite of the danger ahead.

And that is something to be thankful for.

So stop the sulking.

Stop demanding that clients treat you with fairness.

Stop pretending like you are the only person in the world.

Start caring about someone else and you’ll find yourself acting less like a little whiner.

Heck, you might even start selling more.

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Anonymous

Dan, you are very productive with your posts this time of the year….
“Fairness” is a very relative term as it depends on the perspective, hence is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I stay away from using the word fairness as it is most likely meaningless to anyone but me and, consequently, without relevance in the process of communication.
When we talk about deserving something like fairness, honesty or a “break” I am with you insofar, that deserving in this context is a demanding expectation. If we leave fairness away and look at honesty, again we must consider the definition of honesty. Does it cover not to lie only? Does it include to disclose everything you know about something?
Furthermore, there are cultural aspects to consider, too. In many Far Eastern cultures it would be considered foolish to tell your enemy the truth and, in a traditional seller/buyer relationship the two parties would be considered mutual enemies. In parts of the Western World societies we think about the chivalry of honesty and may view the same situation differently. To demand and expect honesty may be a slippery slope and is really a a result of developing a real relationship.
Deserving an even break is again a relative term and sounds a little like deserving a “free lunch”. One typically gets a “break” when value is perceived. So, create perceived value and the break will come without the necessity of “deserving” it.
As usual I like your post!
Manfred
http://www.qli-international.com
Anonymous

Dan, you are very productive with your posts this time of the year….
“Fairness” is a very relative term as it depends on the perspective, hence is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I stay away from using the word fairness as it is most likely meaningless to anyone but me and, consequently, without relevance in the process of communication.
When we talk about deserving something like fairness, honesty or a “break” I am with you insofar, that deserving in this context is a demanding expectation. If we leave fairness away and look at honesty, again we must consider the definition of honesty. Does it cover not to lie only? Does it include to disclose everything you know about something?
Furthermore, there are cultural aspects to consider, too. In many Far Eastern cultures it would be considered foolish to tell your enemy the truth and, in a traditional seller/buyer relationship the two parties would be considered mutual enemies. In parts of the Western World societies we think about the chivalry of honesty and may view the same situation differently. To demand and expect honesty may be a slippery slope and is really a a result of developing a real relationship.
Deserving an even break is again a relative term and sounds a little like deserving a “free lunch”. One typically gets a “break” when value is perceived. So, create perceived value and the break will come without the necessity of “deserving” it.
As usual I like your post!
Manfred
http://www.qli-international.com
- http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt
  
  Manfred,
  
  However you word it. However you interpret cultural differences. We all get stuck in the mindset that doing business on our own terms makes the process that much easier.
  
  Nothing could be further from the truth. Adapting is key…
  
  Dan
http://asimpleguyblog.blogspot.com Dan Collins

Not bad Waldo :)
http://asimpleguyblog.blogspot.com Dan Collins

Not bad Waldo :)
- http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt
  
  Thanks, Dan… Just a little “early morning” venting…
  
  Dan
http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

Thanks, Dan… Just a little “early morning” venting…

Dan
Cara Celli

Okay, Dan, now tell us what you really think:)
I’ve heard the term “fairness” thrown around, and sometimes business is not fair. However, we’re not really in the business of selling to be fair, or for a company to be fair with us. It’s all a matter of how much you’re producing, and numbers don’t lie, fair or not.
Cara Celli

Okay, Dan, now tell us what you really think:)
I’ve heard the term “fairness” thrown around, and sometimes business is not fair. However, we’re not really in the business of selling to be fair, or for a company to be fair with us. It’s all a matter of how much you’re producing, and numbers don’t lie, fair or not.
- http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt
  
  Cara,
  
  Good points. We don’t complain when we help a client put together an RFP that has us clearly the winner before the competition even begins, but then think that that doesn’t happen in every other sales battle…
  
  Dan
http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

Cara,

Good points. We don’t complain when we help a client put together an RFP that has us clearly the winner before the competition even begins, but then think that that doesn’t happen in every other sales battle…

Dan
Jose

Dan, you know how to fire someone up & get them moving; especially when all the usual holiday, for lack of a better word, laziness creeps in to the office like the plague. I was just starting to lose the battle today & this post shook me out of it.
Jose

Dan, you know how to fire someone up & get them moving; especially when all the usual holiday, for lack of a better word, laziness creeps in to the office like the plague. I was just starting to lose the battle today & this post shook me out of it.
- http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt
  
  Jose,
  
  Great to hear that you are charged up and ready to conquer the world. Don’t let me hold you back. Go be amazing…
  
  Dan
http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

Jose,

Great to hear that you are charged up and ready to conquer the world. Don’t let me hold you back. Go be amazing…

Dan
http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

Manfred,

However you word it. However you interpret cultural differences. We all get stuck in the mindset that doing business on our own terms makes the process that much easier.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Adapting is key…

Dan
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Sales Sulking and the Misfit Nonsense of Demanding Fairness.

That isn’t fair.

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