9.22.2011

When the Bottom Drops Out.

If you’re expecting that life is going to give you everything you want without a fight, then you’re in for a rude awakening.

Sometimes life goes horribly, inexplicably wrong.

It’s not just bad. It’s a disaster.

People get hurts.
You lose money.
Friends get hit with collateral damage.

Sometimes the bottom drops out.

Which is about the toughest situation in life to handle.

You might not have been doing anything wrong.

In fact, you are following all the rules. You are motivated and devoted to your goals.

And without warning, disaster.

Emotionally, you are looking for answers.

When life deals you a big blow your natural defense mechanisms kick in and immediately try to find a reason — an explanation — to the situation that is going on.

That’s just natural.

A pity party.

That’s what your brain decides is a perfect antidote to your bad juju.

You would think that with thousands of years of neural evolution that your brain would have a sophisticated and well developed way to handle unexpected disasters.

It doesn’t.

Sulking is about as evolved as our brains have come.

That’s what we do. We seek out ways to get other people to feel sorry for us.

We dropped teasers on social media platforms so that inquiring friends can give us support.
We tell our friends at church or social clubs our jilted description of what is happening..

It’s a complete waste of time.

It is natural to grieve. It’s natural to hurt.

But feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t help you stay focused on your goals.

In fact, it only makes your situation that much harder to recover from.

When your natural reaction is to make a big deal out of all the negative things that happened to you, your life becomes a very miserable place.

So the bottom just dropped out. It’s not the end of the world.

What’s dangerous at this moment is that you might be overlooking an opportunity that is right under your nose.

An opportunity to be amazing.

The hardest times of our lives yield the greatest potential for growth. What we learn from unexpected disasters make us the high performers that we couldn’t be any other way.

Life has to to get tough or you just won’t ever get what you want.

If it’s easy, you stay a loser.

The worse things get, the more opportunity you have to learn.

So how do you handle disaster?

The next time you are faced with unexplained disaster, try approaching it a little differently:

Take a deep breath and force yourself to pause before jumping to conclusions.
Get the facts. Make sure the damage is as bad as your mind tells you that it is.
Talk to yourself out loud and replay the situation as you think you understand it.
Grab a pad of paper and a pencil and start scratching out ideas that come to mind.
Go get physical. Whatever you do to work up a sweat – now is the time to start doing that.
Take another look at your notes and see if they still make sense to you. Make corrections. Rework the plan.
Take the ideas that you have finalized and add timelines and expectations. Be clear about how long things might take.
Add your notes and timelines to your weekly calendar. Schedule tasks appropriately to help make sure you achieve success.
Take the time to run your plan by a friend that will keep you accountable. Don’t ask for advice. Just demand brutal honesty.

You’re not the only one.

Bad stuff happens to good people every day.

And while that is sad, it’s even more sad when you take a punch to the gut and don’t get back on your feet.

You are a winner.

Winners figure out how to win.

That’s what you’have to do when the bottom drops out. .

Winning.

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http://www.linkedin.com/pub/tim-mushey/8/428/305 Tim Mushey

(Sorry Danny this one got a little long. But it was time for my personal confession. Thanks so much I feel better already!)

I was with an organization when things were going very well overall, but the territory that I took over was undermanaged for several years. Within 12 months of taking over, I had the 2nd highest sales volume out of 22 reps in Canada, and the 4th highest increase year over year results to budget. I still had a lot to learn, but I was off to a great start. The following year, things started off quiet well, but then the economic downturn kicked in. I continued to grow as a rep, build relationships with current key accounts, and prospect for new business. I was quickly getting a reputation as the best rep that this company had seen in the region for close to 10 years. It felt great, but I knew I was in for a rough ride, with the economy quickly taking a turn for the worst.

As changes occurred, I worked directly for the head of Canadian operations for a few months. He was smart, successful, but very tough on reps, especially the ones that were struggling. Initially I was told that I would be protected if the economy made change necessary within the organization. But I started to not feel so protected as the pressure mounted to grow the business even more, when I had one of the hardest hit regions of Canada in my territory! In the midst of the turmoil, I had the top results in a 6 week promotion, beating out 100 sales representatives across North America, but none of that seemed to matter. A new Sales Manager was brought in, and the honeymoon with them was over in about two days.

As the struggles continued, and I was only a few months removed from great success, (and in the boss’ “inner circle” so to speak) my colleague who had the other part of my region thought we were going to be let go soon. Maybe I was naïve, maybe I thought that I could never be fired, but the writing was on the wall. We suddenly had to call in to the boss every morning, and every afternoon to say exactly what we did for the day. That lasted for two weeks. As I reflect now, that was done in the hopes that we would just quit, and they would be free and clear of us both. I thought we made it, and passed some kind of test. I was wrong, dead wrong! The two of us were let go on the same day shortly after. The new Sales Manager who ultimately pulled the trigger on my demise quit two months later!

I had moved my family 9+ years previously to this city, to take my career to the next level, and do great things. I was being groomed for sales management with a previous organization and I had never felt better about things, then they were purchased and the company went sideways fast. I made the difficult decision to leave, and moved on to the above mentioned role. I made the best of a difficult situation, and “survived” in a very challenging working environment.

I was in shock for a few days, and it felt like I was repeatedly being kicked in the gut. I felt like I usually did one somebody passed away close to me. I was numb. My parents and in-laws were in town for my son’s birthday, and I had to walk in the door and tell them that I lost my job. To add to it, my wife was not working at the time. I was bitter, I was angry; I know that I had done no wrong. A decision had been made, and I would have to live with it.

This was not supposed to happen to “Tim Mushey”. At the end of the day, thankfully these feelings only lasted for about two weeks. My wife did an incredibly simple, yet important thing next. She suggested that we hop on the train with our son and go to the mountains for a few days.

It was just the perspective that I needed. When I felt that fresh, cold mountain air hit my face, my outlook changed quickly. She reminded me all that I had achieved in life on a personal and professional level. She reminded me that I WOULD do it again. I started reflecting on my past accomplishments, and decided that bigger and better things were in store for me in the future.

To supplement my income with another outside sales role in the future, I would finally embark on some part time online marketing aspirations that I had been dabbling in for a while. I saw the joy on my family’s faces when we had that time away in the mountains, and I knew that everything was going to be ok. I was a fighter, and I was in for some of the toughest challenges in my life, but I would come out of it stronger than ever.
- http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt
  
  Tim,
  
  What an in incredible story. I am sure quite a few of us who are reading this know exactly what you were going through. I am delighted that are able to share that with us and clearly articulate your feelings about the situation.
  
  Dan
  - http://www.linkedin.com/pub/tim-mushey/8/428/305 Tim Mushey
    
    Thanks Dan. I really appreciate that you take the time to respond and read my stuff! I hope it can help others too and let them know that everything will be ok when things get rough!
    - http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt
      
      I haven’t learned much in life, but what I do know is that “everything really will be OK”… If you can pause long enough to catch your breath, you’ll make it.
      
      Dan
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/tim-mushey/8/428/305 Tim Mushey

(Sorry Danny this one got a little long. But it was time for my personal confession. Thanks so much I fell better already!)

I was with an organization when things were going very well overall, but the territory that I took over was undermanaged for several years. Within 12 months of taking over, I had the 2nd highest sales volume out of 22 reps in Canada, and the 4th highest increase year over year results to budget. I still had a lot to learn, but I was off to a great start. The following year, things started off quiet well, but then the economic downturn kicked in. I continued to grow as a rep, build relationships with current key accounts, and prospect for new business. I was quickly getting a reputation as the best rep that this company had seen in the region for close to 10 years. It felt great, but I knew I was in for a rough ride, with the economy quickly taking a turn for the worst.

As changes occurred, I worked directly for the head of Canadian operations for a few months. He was smart, successful, but very tough on reps, especially the ones that were struggling. Initially I was told that I would be protected if the economy made change necessary within the organization. But I started to not feel so protected as the pressure mounted to grow the business even more, when I had one of the hardest hit regions of Canada in my territory! In the midst of the turmoil, I had the top results in a 6 week promotion, beating out 100 sales representatives across North America, but none of that seemed to matter. A new Sales Manager was brought in, and the honeymoon with them was over in about two days.

As the struggles continued, and I was only a few months removed from great success, (and in the boss’ “inner circle” so to speak) my colleague who had the other part of my region thought we were going to be let go soon. Maybe I was naïve, maybe I thought that I could never be fired, but the writing was on the wall. We suddenly had to call in to the boss every morning, and every afternoon to say exactly what we did for the day. That lasted for two weeks. As I reflect now, that was done in the hopes that we would just quit, and they would be free and clear of us both. I thought we made it, and passed some kind of test. I was wrong, dead wrong! The two of us were let go on the same day shortly after. The new Sales Manager who ultimately pulled the trigger on my demise quit two months later!

I had moved my family 9+ years previously to this city, to take my career to the next level, and do great things. I was being groomed for sales management with a previous organization and I had never felt better about things, then they were purchased and the company went sideways fast. I made the difficult decision to leave, and moved on to the above mentioned role. I made the best of a difficult situation, and “survived” in a very challenging working environment.

I was in shock for a few days, and it felt like I was repeatedly being kicked in the gut. I felt like I usually did one somebody passed away close to me. I was numb. My parents and in-laws were in town for my son’s birthday, and I had to walk in the door and tell them that I lost my job. To add to it, my wife was not working at the time. I was bitter, I was angry; I know that I had done no wrong. A decision had been made, and I would have to live with it.

This was not supposed to happen to “Tim Mushey”. At the end of the day, thankfully these feelings only lasted for about two weeks. My wife did an incredibly simple, yet important thing next. She suggested that we hop on the train with our son and go to the mountains for a few days.

It was just the perspective that I needed. When I felt that fresh, cold mountain air hit my face, my outlook changed quickly. She reminded me all that I had achieved in life on a personal and professional level. She reminded me that I WOULD do it again. I started reflecting on my past accomplishments, and decided that bigger and better things were in store for me in the future.

To supplement my income with another outside sales role in the future, I would finally embark on some part time online marketing aspirations that I had been dabbling in for a while. I saw the joy on my family’s faces when we had that time away in the mountains, and I knew that everything was going to be ok. I was a fighter, and I was in for some of the toughest challenges in my life, but I would come out of it stronger than ever.
http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

Tim,

What an in incredible story. I am sure quite a few of us who are reading this know exactly what you were going through. I am delighted that are able to share that with us and clearly articulate your feelings about the situation.

Dan
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/tim-mushey/8/428/305 Tim Mushey

Thanks Dan. I really appreciate that you take the time to respond and read my stuff! I hope it can help others too and let them know that everything will be ok when things get rough!
Steph M.

*wow* that’s really inspirational – loving it!! I totally agree that it is the seemingly non-optimistic times that bear most opportunities. It is these opportunities that help us become the person we always wanted to be. It helps us find our path with all our talents, passions and this incredible feeling that helps us pushing forward!
- http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt
  
  Great perspective, Stephanie. It takes the hard stuff to make us better.
  
  Dan
Steph M.

*wow* that’s really inspirational – loving it!! I totally agree that it is the seemingly non-optimistic times that bear most opportunities. It is these opportunities that help us become the person we always wanted to be. It helps us find our path with all our talents, passions and this incredible feeling that helps us pushing forward!
http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

I haven’t learned much in life, but what I do know is that “everything really will be OK”… If you can pause long enough to catch your breath, you’ll make it.

Dan
http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

Great perspective, Stephanie. It takes the hard stuff to make us better.

Dan
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