9.7.2011

Why Success Means Running Towards the Painful Path.

Avoiding pain is a huge part of how we make decisions.

We are wired to contrast possible risks against possible rewards and choose a course of action that maximizes ease.

Pain is avoided at all costs.

Getting hurt is not an allowable risk.

At a default level that’s how you’ll operate. Every time.

When given a decision between doing something that’s incredibly difficult and choosing an easier option you’ll create convincing arguments to make the case that the easier option is actually the better option for you to pursue.

Tens of thousands of years of neuro-evolution make that a subconscious activity for you.  You do it without thinking about it.

But that is also a mindset that is likely holding you back from operating at peak performance.

It makes you a loser.

You avoiding pain is also causing you to avoid learning the lessons that will ultimately make you successful.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, the famous Russian writer, observed that: “Suffering is the sole origin of consciousness.”

In other words, you haven’t begun to live until you’ve had to cry.

The easy path is the wrong path.

The path that hurts the most is the path that you must pursue.

And while it’s important to strike a reasonable balance of practicality and prudence, accepting pain as the route to high performance can simplify how we make decision.

The hardest path is the best path.

It’s an idea that should stimulate our thinking.

When was the last time you learned a memorable lesson when a painful instance did not occur first?  When was the last time you found success without suffering?

Pain is the precursor to potential.

Without pain all that you have are ideas — untested ideas and meritless passion.

Without hurt there is no perspective.

There is no urgency.

There is no validation.

There is only the shallowness of conformity and duplication.

  1. Pain stretches our capacity to invest in our own success. – It is when we look deeply into the demons that hurt us that we understand the resolve with which we must execute our mission.  There is no turning back.  There is no compromise.
  2. Without pain, pleasure is less enjoyable.  It’s not understood.   Not appreciated. – You can’t be prepared to experience the warmth of success until you’ve shivered in the bitter cold of unrealized expectations. The pain that plagues you, reminds you of the rewards that follow up on your success.

Instead of running from pain, perhaps we should run to it.

Perhaps the key to success is not in choosing the right path but in choosing the path most painful.

Knowing that the pain we feel only accentuates our urgent expectation for the pleasure our success might one day yield.


  • http://www.linkedin.com/pub/tim-mushey/8/428/305 Tim Mushey

    “Instead of running from pain, perhaps we should run to it”
     
    I just absolutely love that quote Dan. It is so true. It is so natural for many people to accept the status quo and continue what they are used to. It is safe and convenient. Weather it is right or not, people get comfortable in their current situation, and making any changes for them and/or their family seems like too much work. It is not that they do not want to make changes, but they get distracted with so many other things in their lives, it just gets pushed to the side.
     
    It does not even have to be changing jobs or career paths. It could be something else important like becoming more physically active, finding time for hobbies/passions, or if you can imagine having more downtime to just chill and relax!
     
    But like you said, change and risks can be painful; it takes sacrifice, time commitment and extra energy to get where you really want to be in life, professionally and personally. I don’t know how many times I have wanted to pack it in during my pursuits of a part time internet marketing career.
     
    Is it all worth it?Can I really provide value to others?Will I be a success?Will the income be there to support it?Are my ideas silly?
     
    These are only a few of the things that go through my mind, and unfortunately they creep back in to my consciousness more often than I would like to admit. But you know what?  I keep going, I keep moving forward. I work off the motto of “a little bit every day” to keep moving closer toward my goals.
     
    I never stop learning, I never profess to know it all, and I certainly never undervalue what I can “bring to the party for others”. And that motivates me to keep doing what I am doing. I get tired, I get cranky, I doubt myself, I just want to get on the couch and watch TV at night, but I don’t. I keep rolling along. Then I read posts like this, and I get even more jazzed up! Thanks for the inspiration Dan!

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      What’s hard is what’s necessary.  The pain that hurts us is what helps us.  It’s a lesson we need to keep learning.

      Dan

  • http://www.linkedin.com/pub/tim-mushey/8/428/305 Tim Mushey

    “Instead of running from pain, perhaps we should run to it”
     
    I just absolutely love that quote Dan. It is so true. It is so natural for many people to accept the status quo and continue what they are used to. It is safe and convenient. Weather it is right or not, people get comfortable in their current situation, and making any changes for them and/or their family seems like too much work. It is not that they do not want to make changes, but they get distracted with so many other things in their lives, it just gets pushed to the side.
     
    It does not even have to be changing jobs or career paths. It could be something else important like becoming more physically active, finding time for hobbies/passions, or if you can imagine having more downtime to just chill and relax!
     
    But like you said, change and risks can be painful; it takes sacrifice, time commitment and extra energy to get where you really want to be in life, professionally and personally. I don’t know how many times I have wanted to pack it in during my pursuits of a part time internet marketing career.
     
    Is it all worth it?Can I really provide value to others?Will I be a success?Will the income be there to support it?Are my ideas silly?
     
    These are only a few of the things that go through my mind, and unfortunately they creep back in to my consciousness more often than I would like to admit. But you know what?  I keep going, I keep moving forward. I work off the motto of “a little bit every day” to keep moving closer toward my goals.
     
    I never stop learning, I never profess to know it all, and I certainly never undervalue what I can “bring to the party for others”. And that motivates me to keep doing what I am doing. I get tired, I get cranky, I doubt myself, I just want to get on the couch and watch TV at night, but I don’t. I keep rolling along. Then I read posts like this, and I get even more jazzed up! Thanks for the inspiration Dan!

  • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

    What’s hard is what’s necessary.  The pain that hurts us is what helps us.  It’s a lesson we need to keep learning.

    Dan

  • http://www.linkedin.com/pub/tim-mushey/8/428/305 Tim Mushey

    Agreed! Thanks again.

  • http://www.linkedin.com/pub/tim-mushey/8/428/305 Tim Mushey

    Agreed! Thanks again.

  • Orlando Bonfiglio

    Pain is only a message. It is not a symptom. intensity and the amount of the pain is a measurement of our present skill and our present will.

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      Good observation. Pain just lets us know that we are headed down the right path… :-)

  • Orlando Bonfiglio

    Pain is only a message. It is not a symptom. intensity and the amount of the pain is a measurement of our present skill and our present will.

  • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

    Good observation. Pain just lets us know that we are headed down the right path… :-)

  • SaintT63

    “Pain don’t hurt” Dalton – Roadhouse.

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      Love it…  Great reminder.

      Dan

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