7.12.2012

Just Answer Your Damn Email.

What happened to the art of relationship building?  Heck, where the hell went civility?

Have we just decided to replace “doing the right thing” with bulk emails, automated tweets, and lead scoring tools?  Have we decided that good, old-fashioned relationships aren’t a good investment any longer?

Let’s make this discussion a little more pragmatic. Let’s talk about simple business etiquette.

Can I get a simple reply to my email?

Maybe in your head you have this grandiose theory about how important you are and how valuable your schedule really is.  But that’s a fantasy world.

We get it.

You’re don’t have time for us…  (Sorry.  That was a mistake.)

You do have time for us when you need something.  When you need something done.  Something solved.  Something fixed.

When you need me to be a bad-ass and drop-kick your problem with my talents.

Oh then, you’re quick to open your inbox and pretend like we are fast friends.  Like we have a relationship.

But we aren’t and we don’t.

So let’s stop pretending like I’m stupid and that you care.

That’s the essence of the matter.  You were hoping that no one would have the guts to call you out on your selfish bullshit.  That you could make this all about you and use me to get what you want.

And that could work as long as you never need me to ever really care about making you successful.  Because that’s not going to happen.  Going through the motions is easy.  Especially if you are paying me lots and lots of money.

But why be an idiot?  Why use and abuse people when you could have us eating out of your hand? \

Why not just change.  It’s simple actually.

Take time to respond.

Even when you don’t feel like it.  Even when you are busy.

(And by the way, you aren’t any busier than anyone else.  We all make the same choice each day where to spend our time.)

Make the choice to answer your emails. Each one.  Your spam filter is evolved enough to keep most of the riff-raff out of the mix.  What you’re (mostly) looking at is just a series of potential relationships.

That’s all.  Relationships.

And relationships matter.

Especially when you don’t have one.

You don’t need to be best friends with anyone.  You can say “no” and “not now”.  Just like you do in “real life”.  None of that changes.

But what does need to be changed is your attitude.

Arrogance.  Avoidance.  They aren’t endearing qualities.

How can you lead when you’re pathetically passive aggressive?  How can you hope to inspire teamsmanship when you won’t invest in simple words to light that fire?

Look. This discussion is bigger than email.  It’s much bigger than that.  (And you know it.)

But you have to start somewhere.

That somewhere is your inbox.

So get your head out of your ass and start being the type of person who values other people.  Invest in the quick touches that let people around you know you care.

It might not matter today.  Or tomorrow.  Or for a while, for that matter.

But the day will come all too soon when your shabby attempts at relationship-building will cripple your ability to get things done.

And you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.

Fix it.


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  • Leanne Hoagland-Smith

    Okay Dan tell me how you really feel? There is so much ego out there in the business world, it is like hacking through the thickest jungles with a lot of one way streets where it is all about me and the heck with you.

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      When you stop valuing “people”, your world view gets all fucked up…

      Dan

      • Leanne Hoagland-Smith

        And this happens when you lack clarity about what you value – those non-negotiable behaviors that you have written down and adhere to 24/7.

  • http://www.douglaserice.com/ Douglas E Rice

    Too many business people today eat, sleep, and breathe cynicism. They assume the worst in anyone who reaches out to them. And, not only are they cynics; they’re also cowards. So, rather than telling you to leave them alone, they avoid confrontation by simply ignoring you (or automating a replay, which amounts to the same thing). I think step one is dismantling the cynicism of the masses, showing people that it’s okay to show a little trust to their fellow human beings. After that, then we can start having real conversations again. Great rant, Dan!

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      Well said, Doug. Sometimes it just gets under my skin a little…

      Dan

      • John Rees

        Good article Dan but the only reason people will respond is if ‘We” have something they want and need … at the time we contact them. It’s the old timing/opportunity thing.

        I know it sucks but that’s reality. I want to shout and scream at the people who just ignore calls or email because it’s rude and it’s hard to build a one-sided relationship.
        In some people’s minds there’s ‘Good manners’ and there’s ‘Business’ – often the 2 are very different. I don’t have an answer – just letting off some steam here in the rainy old UK!
        Keep up the ‘edgy’ – love it!

        • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

          That is certainly true a lot of the time, John… We can just lead from example and be prompt to followup and follow through.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jeff.peters.587606 Jeff Peters

    Wow! Edgy to the max on this one, bro! But I like your moxie, keep it up!

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      Thanks, Jeff. Sometimes I just get annoyed by things. What can I say? Thanks for stopping by and leaving some feedback, OK?

      Dan

  • http://carouselsalesblog.blogspot.com Cara Celli

    Dan,
    One reason why your followers like you is because you always reply on your blog, and in your e-mails. I also think this shows a lot about the character of a person…

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      Thanks for the kind words, Cara. If you say people are important you should act like it…

      Dan

      • http://carouselsalesblog.blogspot.com Cara Celli

        That is true. It’s really okay to say a couple of words back in reply if you don’t have time to write out an essay. Just let the person know you got it, even if it’s brief. I have less and less time to reply to folks’s emails, so I’ve been writing a few words back when they contact me. At least it lets them know I got their mail, and I’m not ignoring them.

  • http://www.scoremoresales.com Lori Richardson

    I think we all are seeing this everyday, Dan – you found powerful words for it.

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      Powerful…… And sad words.

      Dan

  • JC

    I wish I had the balls to send this link to every single prospect that thought they were too good to get back to me.

    • JC

      This is perhaps the greatest blog post ever!

      • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

        Thanks, JC.

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      I triple dare you my friend. :-)

      Dan

      p.s. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go…..

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