1.4.2013

It’s Normal For People To Not Like You.

You’re never not going to have critics.  And it’s probably always going to bother you.

The harsh truth about being successful is that you are going to make people irrationally mad at you in the process.  It’s  inevitable.  Part of the painful journey.

Your peers, your family, your community — they can all seem like enemies at times.  Each one tearing you apart as you pass by in your quest for achieving big expectations.

The things that make you successful are sometimes offensive to other people.  The choices that you have to make  are annoying to other people who don’t always understand your motivations.

And you might be missing out on the fact that life is normal.

It’s normal for people not to like you.

It’s uncomfortable, painful, and endlessly frustrating.  But what is supposed to happen.

From Jesus to Mohammed to Martin Luther King Jr,  Henry Ford, and  Jackie Robinson — and millions of unnamed others — those who fight the hardest to make a difference, get the most criticism.

So what do you do?  How do you stay focused and inspired?

  1. Be clear in your own head about why what you want to achieve is so important.
  2. Accept responsibility for the parts of your zealotry that need to be improved.
  3. Build a group of friends and mentors whom you can trust to be fair and honest.
  4. Laugh off the silliest accusations and make yourself smile even though you don’t feel like it.
  5. Take time each week to review through through your goals and ideas and progress.
  6. Tune out almost everyone around you most of the time.

It’s not easy to do.  Or fun.

But that’s the price you pay for doing what most other people only read about in books.

You’re one of the few destined to be remembered by history.   Some angry chit-chat along the way is a small price to pay.

So fight on…


  • Veronika Freeman

    Awesome advice! There are individuals that hate successful people for no other reason than that they are successful. Why are there so many horrible “reality” shows out there? Because some people like to laugh at others’ failures. With friends and relatives it may be the fear of being left behind as your success grows… you can’t be responsible for how others act or feel – only how you do.
    Thanks for the reminder!

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      It can be tough…. You think that if just work hard and do what is right that people will accept and support you. All of a sudden, you find that people are stabbing you in the back.

      Dan

      • Susan

        People have and always be unless one builds a good relationship towards the team then its a chance you take to show you can work together. If it doesnt at least you tried. I hate pointing fingers because only one is directed to the person but the rest of the fingers points back to oneself. To laugh at oneself is the only way to understand why others failure should be taken as a learning experience to make the next one easier to cope not to dwell on it. Then it will be a better place to work lots of smile and good energy and welcome the day with a beautiful perspective. Be positive.Dont need to join them to beat them but lead them to a higher level. A winner!

      • caribeandiva

        Same thing happened to me. I was surprised to see that my family and so-called friends were the ones doing the stabbing. They’re the ones trying to distract me from achieving my goals. It hurt but I’m a stronger person as a result. You live and you learn.

        • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

          YEP. Sometimes family can be your worst obstacles.

          Dan

  • http://twitter.com/TomGTR Tom Rochford

    Sometimes it works out best to know up front and not waste your time. So right that you can’t do anything about it just don’t carry it around with you and infect someone else.

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      Oh I agree about that. It does no good to be bitter.

      Dan

  • http://twitter.com/Perspect Colin McAllister

    thought provoking – painful – sad and true – would I change it now – maybe – maybe not — truth is money nor power buy true happiness – children do make you reconsider

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      Frank words, Colin. And I agree with you.

      Dan

  • celeste

    Sad. But true. While it can be painfully lonely sometimes dealing with haters. It helps to be mindful of where you place expectations and trust. Among other, I agree ~ Focus is significant~

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      You’re right. You need to be focused or else it is easy to let “haters” take you off your game…. ‘Tis what I think about all too often. :-)

      Dan

  • http://www.StandUp8Times.com/ Diana Schneidman

    Dan, so true.

    Not only will you always have critics who don’t like you, but more than likely you won’t have the satisfaction of seeing them proven wrong and you proven right.

    -Diana
    http://www.StandUp8Times.com

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      If you can deny yourself the immediate gratification of being proved right, you stand to do something amazing. :-)

      Dan

      p.s. Thanks for the reminder…

  • http://getBRANDWISE.com Brandwise

    It has taken me sometime to get comfortable with being misunderstood and weird. I have always been on this path and although the road is tough as hell sometimes, I know I am on the verge of something big. This is a great article and something most people do not want to talk about. Persistence really is the key to success and why it is so important to keep fighting the good fight. As with several of the successful people you mentioned they too had many hardships and struggles to overcome. So I commend you for this article and starting this conversation. Here’s to changing the world through determination and great successes!

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      Dale:

      Thanks for taking the time to share your personal story with us all.

      There are a lot of excuses why hard work won’t work. Being persistent is the secret. Stay with it, dude. Keep fighting.

      Let me know if I can be of some help to you in your journey, OK?

      Dan

      p.s. Feel free to email me directly at dan@edgy.bz. Or you can just call me at 202-630-6730. Happy to help.

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  • Susan

    I always believe in quality of anything I do and have including people I like and like me back. If its all pretense I dont need to be liked, hear no evil, see no evil and say no evil. I have better things to do as long as I dont thread on anyones foot to get to what I like then I dont see not being liked as an issue. We can pick and choose what suits us best. Move on to the next issue.

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      I like your style, Susan. All too often we forget that choosing who we want to have around us is our decision to make — and a smart one.

      Dan

      p.s. great perspective

      • Susan

        Thank you Dan.  I like you topics because it makes sense and logical issues.  Some people write for the sake of writing but you write and touch issues that many people has taken for granted.  I am not very smart but I have some sense and perspective so I do enjoy your topics so I will be making comments and if I am wrong please correct me because it is okay to learn a different perspective and that is positive way of thinking.

        • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

          Glad to have you hanging around here. :-)

          Dan

      • Susan

        I just want to remind people out there you dont need to be in the company of people who will pull you to your demise just to be “IN” because sometimes it will be too late to “GET OUT” of a habit attributed by being “IN”.  There are lots of good activities waiting to be explored and enjoy which could give you true happiness.  Our life should be guided with VALUES without it we will easily feel lost.  My precious treasure in life VALUES.

  • http://www.ideator.si/ david praznik

    “those who fight the hardest to make a difference, get the most criticism.”

    not quite true. some people do really stupid things in the name of change and they deserve criticism.

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      Agreed. There are those outliers. But more times than not, if you attempt something new or different you’ll get more criticism than anyone else.

      Another thing — sometimes what sounds or looks like stupid behavior right now looks like brilliance down the road. Time adds perspective.

      Dan

      p.s. Thanks for sharing your insights. You brought up a very good point…

  • Critic

    You’re an idiot!

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      Well, shoot, everyone can’t agree with me. :-)

      Dan

  • Gilles

    Someone once put it to me this way: Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Are these two propositions reconcilable or mutually exclusive?

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      I want to be “BOTH”… Maybe that is just me being emotionally greedy.

      Dan

      p.s. I think attitude has a lot to do with if you “feel right”…

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