3.18.2013

You Don’t Get A Third Chance At Second Impressions.

Most of what you hear about sales success and business growth is about making good first impressions.

That’s not always how it’s presented, but that’s essentially the core of most tactics.  Make it look like you know what you’re doing until you figure it out for yourself  – “fake it until you make it”.

  • You’re told to design marketing that has more pictures (and “pop”) than follow-through and support.
  • You’re told that the only thing that matters is getting the deal.  That you can figure out everything later.
  • You’re told to be careful what you put on social media so that others get the right impression of you.

And so you work really hard to make sure people think that you’re OK when you’re really not.  You pretend to be fine when you’re really sick with worry, confused about your options, and unsure that what you’re doing is the best thing for the people you’re making big promises to.

It’s why you keep failing (in spite of doing what you’re told).

First impressions do matter.  You make the same “snap judgments” that everyone else makes.  If someone else looks sloppy, lazy, slow, or stupid, then you just assume that is what they really are.  You probably don’t bother to invest in a relationship where you might find out something differently.

So there is a lot of obvious pressure on you to “appear” like you have it all together.  You know that you need people to take a deeper look.  And they won’t if you don’t look desirable.

But you don’t look all the desirable two or three or four moves down the road when you can’t deliver the “put togetherness” that you sold to get in front of that potential client in the first place.

And now you’ve made things a lot worse for everyone.

Instead of people passing you by with disinterest, you’ve made them feel cheated, scammed, and stupid. They thought you were different.  And you weren’t.  And so once they stop feeling stupid, they get angry and want revenge.

And that’s where your life get’s a whole lot more difficult.  Because instead of selling a dream, you’re running for your life.  You’re putting out fires and trying to protect what little you have left to a good reputation.

All because you though the first impression was the only thing that mattered.

You don’t need to act that way.

  • You’re not perfect, so stop pretending to be.
  • You get it wrong sometimes, so stop pretending you don’t.
  • You’re not always the best, so stop pretending to be.
  • You make mistakes, so stop pretending like you don’t.

You’re not a con man, so stop acting like one.

Stop shape-shifting to fit what you think other people want you to be.  You’re you.  Act like you. And if that “you” isn’t awesome, then work tirelessly to change that.

But don’t waste your time on the outside when the inside is rotten to the core.

Fight.  Cry when it hurts.  Lead even though you’re crying. Keep moving towards where you want to be.

Not everyone will be dazzled by your first impression.  But your second one (and third and fourth and fifth) will be something they can count on when they finally figure out that you need you after all.


  • info williamlewis.se

    Dan,

    In 1975 I began painting, Liam Tracy an Irish cityscape artist came once a week for 4 or 5 months and we painted landscape. Appart from military training those months are the only training in anything i’ve ever had. 14 years when i quit school, i cant spell the words daughter, knowledge, opinion and sometimes my own name, five and six seem to short but i haven’t had problems with that for quite some time now. There are lots more words which i cant spell but these are the ones that annoy me most.

    Here i am Linked 2 Leadership ”deja vous” and i want to scream and say fuck this not again. This time i dont have the time to go around apologizing for my genius and accepting and making excuses for my intelectual inferiors. (artistic inferiors included)

    You have it right i’ve being watching your brilliant presentation all weekend trying to decide where and what, now i’m asking you?

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      There is something magical about combining combat with art. Some would say that combat is art. What do you think about that?

      Dan

      • info williamlewis.se

        If you think you,re hurting now buddy just you wait and see buddy boy you aint seen nothing yet. When they’ve left you for dead and they are dividing your children’s inheritance thats what you scrape in the dirt. William

  • http://twitter.com/Danmoru Dan mo

    faking has its consequences,accepting your nature and going into the market as you and no any other but you will give you an opportunity to learn and acquire some knowledge from your competitors and clients.The more you fake the more you lose.successiful people rarely pretend but appear in style and understand what they are after.They see opportunities and act on them.

    • http://www.DanWaldschmidt.com/ Dan Waldschmidt

      Faking creates a whole new set of “bad things” that happen as a result…

      Dan

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