Just because you can push a button and fire off an email to your closest 300 prospects, doesn’t mean you should.

In fact, if the emails you’re sending are anything like the emails filling up most our inboxes, you need to take a step back from the keyboard and get a new marketing plan.

We are breaking email marketing.

It’s true.

It’s hard to deny that most of the email conversations we send are downright silly.

They are the same type of stuff that we delete with hardly a second’s worth of time or attention.

We know better.  Even when this nonsense gets mixed in between dozens of other emails that need our attention

We’ve seen it all before, right?

• There’s always a holiday.
• There’s always another “super, big, fantastical deal”.
• There’s always another reason the buyer needs to “act now”.

We’re annoyed when we’re the guy in the “to:” line.

But we’re all to willing to generate this stuff by the truckload if we think it will help us generate a few extra leads.

And that’s a healthy goal.

Lead generation is the key to making sure you hit your sales goals.

But tricky leads into having a conversation is just about the worst sales and marketing idea of all time…

And before you stop and indignantly reassure me that you don’t do any of that type of thing, take a look at this email.

It probably looks pretty familiar.

And maybe I was just in a bad mood when I saw this last week, but it certainly started to drive me insane when I started to dive a little deeper in the conversation.

You are probably annoyed at a few of these things as well.

You feel like you are being tricked into a conversation that you don’t really want to have.

Here are five things you need to avoid:

1. Using trite imagery without a conversation that references it later — What’s the point of the email?  The imagery makes me think that you might be trying to wish me a “Merry Christmas”.  You don’t need to.  I won’t be offended if you decide to go another direction.  But it is confusing that you don’t ever reference why you have those images there.  It’s distracting.  And confusing.  Instead of the conversation that you want to have with me, my mind is reexamining why it doesn’t all add up.  And then I feel a little stupid that I can’t seem to understand it.
2. Writing confusing body content that has me thinking you sent the email to the wrong person — Why do I have to reread your paragraph to try to figure out what you are trying to say?  It’s not helpful.  It makes me stop and wonder if maybe you have the wrong person.  Bad grammar, incomplete thoughts, and unclear assumptions force most people to just stop reading your pitch.
3. Referring to yourself (or the supposed sender) in the third person -- Are you having a conversation with me or not?  There is nothing that destroys a conversations faster than you realizing that the person you are talking with doesn’t really care.  Doesn’t really care about you.  Doesn’t really care about the conversation that they started.  That the person is happy to talk with you as long as you agree to do what they want you to do.  Use the first person if you are sending a personal email.  Use the first person if you are inserting a signature.  Anything else is just pretentious.
4. Using white space to mask the mass email status of the conversation – Are you trying to hide something?  If it’s a mass email, then use language that is personal, but directed to a group.  Use wording that indicates that the recipient is important but part of a larger group of people that is being communicated with.  That can even work to drive camaraderie between the the different people who are part of this communication thread.  But being tricky (or appearing tricky) is just a bad way to start building rapport.
5. Trapping the reader into unreliable “unsubscribe” activity – Is there a link to get me out of you sending me future chicanery?  If I email you with “unsubscribe” will you email back letting me know that you have removed me from the email list?  After all the other screw-ups on this email and the “icky” way that I feel about you now, it just adds more distrust to your communication.  This is super simple to solve too.  Add a hyperlink that walks the read through their options as an unsolicited receiver of junk mail.  Trapping people just makes them furious.

If you want to talk, talk…

Most of us will stop and listen if you really want to talk.

So tricking us isn’t really necessary in the first place

Don’t forget that the next time you get ready to hit the “send” button

Stop telling me to “do not reply” to this email.

Just stop emailing me if you don’t want to have an actual conversation with me.  

Seriously.

Please tell me that this is not the ultimate in selfish sales behavior.

Who do you think you think you are?

Check your email marketing campaign.  We even have some of our from email addresses set to DoNotReply@blahblahblah.com.

What is that?

Why are we acting like spoiled little brats?

This is ridiculous (and, yes, I am upset about it…)

Here’s an email I just received:

Seems somewhat reasonable right?

Until you jump to the bottom of the email.

Let me get this straight.

You’re emailing me to get me to do what you want me to do, but you don’t want to really talk about it.

So why are you emailing me in the first place?

What are your intentions really?

They sound pretty selfish.

And whether you realized it before or whether you intended all along to be a jerk, one fact remains clear.

No one likes dealing with selfish people.

Selfish companies. Selfish marketing. Selfish sales pitches.

They all drive people away.

Maybe it’s time for another plan.

Maybe it’s time to start caring.

And emailing like it.

]]> http://danwaldschmidt.com/2010/12/business/stop-emailing-me-if-you-dont-really-care/feed 13 http://danwaldschmidt.com/2010/11/business/why-prospects-hate-to-deal-with-you-an-edgy-conversation http://danwaldschmidt.com/2010/11/business/why-prospects-hate-to-deal-with-you-an-edgy-conversation#comments Thu, 11 Nov 2010 13:02:21 +0000 Dan Waldschmidt http://danwaldschmidt.com/?p=4692

Most of us hate dealing with sales people.

OK.  Maybe that perspective is a little too harsh… 

Let me make this personal.

Most of the time I hate it.

I just get this awkward sense that I am being treated like a 3-year old.

And I know how to do that.

I have a little 3-year old terror named Dustin at home.

He has no problem squeezing out a tube of toothpaste on the counter or running outside without his underwear on.  He’s three and completely fearless.

And I have an awesome way of managing the instant disasters he mischeviously masterminds.

I feed him inconceivably confusing answers.

I use words like:

“Because….”

This is my chief defensive tool.

He wants to jump off the couch into a bucket of Legos and my nuclear explanation for why he shouldn’t do that is simply one awesome word: “Because…”

It works like a champ.  He says, “Why” and I say “Because”.  And after three or four “go-arounds” of this, he stops asking me silly questions.

I win.

No need to waste time on really trying to explain anything.  No need to care about him getting hurt.  No need for me to match the right answer to his pain point.

I just do my thing and guess what, it makes my life easy.  After all, isn’t it all about me anyway?

Now.

Before you start to think too seriously about how bad a dad I might be, think about how bad a sales person you might be.

I don’t really treat my son that way.  But that’s how many of you treat your clients.

1. You shut them down before they get answers to their questions…
2. You think their questions are stupid and keep presenting…
3. You don’t care if they get hurt in the buying process…

That’s all ridiculous behavior.

It’s the reason prospects hate to deal with you.

If you want to create real influence, stop treating your prospects like a bunch of 3-year olds.

Try something else:

1. Teach.
2. Share.
3. Give.
4. Care.

And you know what?

I don’t think your prospects will be able to hate dealing with you any more.

You’re just too valuable.

This post was first written (in a slightly different format) for Sales Bloggers Union.  I write there once a month with a dozen other sales gurus as we share different opinions on the same topic.  Here are a few other articles I’ve written there.

Staying connected is key to delivering outrageous results.

It’s not that you can’t unplug.  It’s that you can choose when and where you want to connect.

Instant messaging is a great way to do that.

Instant messaging has grown up from late-night chatroom to being key to making inexpensive international business calls.  It’s a quick way to get answers from technical teams back at headquarters and a great way to keeep in touch with customer requests.  But it has it’s drawbacks.

Usually you have to be in front of your computer to message someone.  And you have to download and run different programs to run all your different platforms.  Skype, GTalk, Yahoo, Window’s Messenger  – since they all have different limitations, you probably use several of these services.

Recently, a crop of multi-service platforms have emerged with a new twist:

Connecting all your instant messaging platforms on your desktop, your mobile devices, and the web…

You start your conversation on your desktop.  Then stroll out of the office and continue the dialogue on your phone.  Once you get to your client’s office you jump on a web browser and confirm all the details.  Your conversation continues everywhere you go.

• Trillian [link] — Trillian was the earliest platform to offer a single platform for managing multiple instant messaging services. Their online Trillian.IM web messaging platform look sleek, but it’s still rough around the edges if you’re a MAC user.
• Nimbuzz [link] – Does a lot of the same functions that the other platforms do but looks less sexy.  They have lo’s of mobile applications to offer you though and more services to engage on that Trillian.  Nothing is pretty though.
• Meebo [link] – Brings the most messaging platforms to your desktop.  Lots of international platforms that are not popular in the U.S.  Their mobile apps look delicious, but the online platform needs a new coat of paint.

And my new favorite platform is a platform called IM Plus from Shape Services.

They just recently released their only web messaging platform called PLUS.IM which is completely free for anyone to use.

It’s super simple and looks beautiful.

And if you are looking closing at that screenshot you’ll notice another huge differentiator that makes this my favorite all-around instant messaging platform.

Skype is included as one of the services across mobile, desktop, and web platforms.

No other platform does that.

And their mobile applications are the most powerful that I have seen.

They not only include Skype as part of all services offered, they offer Twitter and Facebook and push your notifications right to your inbox.  If you use a Blackberry (like me), then the experience is even better.

As well, smart looking iPad and iPhone apps are especially impressive.

And if you are on Android, Windows Mobile, Palm, a simple flip-phone, or even Symbian (like Nokia), they have an application for you.

And since all your conversations are saved online,  you can quickly review your history or continue your conversation later.

Talk about efficiency.  This is the ultimate platform to keep you connected.

And when you’re connected better, you tend to have better conversations.

And that means better business.

“Is that a fact….?”

You’ve probably been asked that quite a few times over your lifetime.

Professors. Parents. Your priest.

They all care about “the facts”.

Come to think of it, the facts (amusing or otherwise) are a big part of everything that we do.

Our whole lives, we have been told how to handle the facts.

All the time we hear how we shouldn’t:

• Misrepresent,
• Leave out,
• Forget,
• Color, or
• Hide the facts.

“Just give me the facts…”, we’re told.

And certainly there are a dozen rhymes and reasons why that might make sense.

Right? The facts are:

• Undebatable.
• Certifiable.
• Logical.

Who wouldn’t want to leave out all the huff-and-puff of opinion and counter-culture introspection?  Who wouldn’t want to deal in raw emotionless absolution?

Maybe someone who wants to be a high performer.

And frankly, here’s why —  the facts can be a self limiting defense mechanism.

“Facts are what we cling to to avoid needing to take sides and making hard choices…”

Facts are biased.

They are. Given the length of time that our minds are alive and the length of time that the cosmos has existed, it’s quite possible that everything we know about everything is absolutely wrong.

Think about two very specific way points over the last 700 years

• It was a fact that the world was flat. For decades, we thought the world was flat. We even put people to death who dared to imagine any other possible solution. Anything other than a logical two-dimensional mindset of cartography was preposterous.
• It was a fact that blacks and whites could not possibly be equal. Four hundred years after Columbus, we knew that black people weren’t equals with white people. They were incapable of being as intelligent, as progressive, or as intellectually capable as their less colorful counterparts.

And now we know that the facts were horribly wrong.

And it shouldn’t be a surprise.

Facts only tell half the story.

Sometimes not even that.

So…

• Be more curious.
• Care less about gossip.
• Make up your own mind.
• Be courageous.
• Fail with a smile on your face.

What you think is a disaster right now might turn into the brilliant destiny you always wanted for yourself.

And that might just be a fact…

Selfish behavior will steal every dream you have for yourself.

You’ll make bad decisions, hurt good people, and destroy any chance you have of making a lasting difference in the world around you.

Its affecting your business too. If you’re struggling to land deals and grow revenue right now, you might need to look at your selfish behavior.

My grandfather passed away a few days ago at 92 years old. My mother was holding his hand as he breathed his last breath. He had actively survived the passing of his spouse by two more years. Taking daily walks and even learning how to use the computer. Pretty amazing stuff for a guy six decades older than me who had already lived a full life.

My Uncle Alan (my mom’s little bro), wasn’t able to be there with his father when he passed. Earlier in the day, the doctors let those gathered know that gramps was losing his battle. The close family members prepared to spend their final moments.

Alan owns a busy 200 acre dairy farm about 30 miles away. If you have ever worked on a farm, you know that it’s the one job in the world that waits on no one. You can’t do things when you want; you do them on a schedule. Lives and your livelihood depends on you being disciplined.

And so while the others waited, Alan had to go. He gently kissed his father good-bye, said his final words, and left — knowing that that moment was most likely the last time he would see someone he loved so very dearly.

He let go of what he wanted. It wasn’t about him getting what he wanted. It wasn’t about fairness.

It was about Alan being selfless in spite of the grief, pain, and personal hurt. And that, quite simply, is what greatness is all about.

So, “it’s just cows” you say. “Aren’t you making too big of a deal about it?”

Maybe.  But’s here’s what I know:

We’ve become selfish.

It’s our goals, our future, and our reputation. We only help if we think there’s something in it for us. We only care if we are shamed into it. We only do “me” things.

And it’s destroying us from the inside out. Let’s get edgy about this, fast:

Selfish behavior is the single biggest problem with the craft of selling.

It’s not process or plans or people, it’s our selfish intentions.

Is it any wonder buyers can’t stand to be around us?

Maybe the formula is:

• Giving instead of leveraging…
• Helping instead of maneuvering…
• Caring instead of manipulating…
• Investing instead of qualifying….

Maybe we’re just too selfish “doing our thing” to be the outrageously successful person we really could be.

Maybe we change all that starting today.

For most of us, there is nothing we want more than “to win”

You can’t help it. Neither can I.  It’s part of your DNA.

If you do something, then you want to be the best at it. And even if you aren’t super competitive, you probably have a problem with being the “loser” of the group.

I play basketball in a church league, and I am the worst player on my team. And that drives me bonkers. Completely insane. You know when they change around the plays and the defense to limit your damage, that you are more of a liability than anything else.

Now here’s the self-destructive thing that I do.  And maybe you do it too. I decide to be the best at that one thing. Right then.

Which is just nuts.  I am out of my mind.

The reality is that I haven’t played basketball in over a decade. No joke. I didn’t even really play much in high school. A little here or there in college. I run and play soccer and do extreme sports like MMA. I am the farthest thing from a basketball player.

And yet, if I play it, then I have to be the best at it.

And that’s just a bad use of my time.  It got me thinking:

1. Winning at everything means losing at anything

When you divide your focus, you tend to do a lot of things.  But you do those things half-ass.  It’s hard not to.  Your body is tired and your mind (eventually) gets worn out.  Even if you want to perform at high levels, you physically can’t.

So let’s talk about you and your goals.  It’s not about you doing a million things.  It’s you deciding to do one thing super amazingly well.  You’ll lose at anything if you try to win at everything.  It’s the most likely thing that will happen

2. Winning easy doesn’t really count as a win

You can’t call it a win if it’s handed to you.  When it comes too easy to notch up another win you shouldn’t consider it winning.  It’s like an inheritance — you didn’t anything to deserve that.

And what’s even more dangerous with an easy win is that you don’t know what you did to earn it.  So when you try to replicate your success, you find yourself doing really awkward, self-limiting activities.  No high-performance activities.  The pain of trying to win is a powerful force in motivating us toward success.

3. The cost of winning can be a huge loss

You don’t have unlimited emotional bandwidth.  Funds. Friends. Or ideas.  Everything has a cost to you.  Winning has an even bigger cost to you.  When things blow up for us it’s usually because we forgot to do something or we just pain couldn’t do it.

The cost of winning is something that we can easily gloss over, but it’s absolutely key to our success.  Ohhh…. and if you want to help limit the damage from trying to win, you need to stay in shape:

• That means you’re financially nimble — not swimming in monthly obligations.
• That means you’re physically stable — staying in shape and getting sleep and nutrition
• That means you’re mentally prepared — getting help for your worries and fears (e.g. therapy)

Don’t stop winning

And don’t stop putting in the massive amounts of effort that it takes to win.

Just don’t want to win so badly that you make bad decisions.

No one likes to be talked at.

Not a spouse.  Not an employee.  Not even the family pet.

When we feel the words thrown at us don’t matter, we automatically throw away the conversation.

That’s why we instinctively distrust politicians and sales people.

They lie to us.

At least that’s what our gut tells us.

And even if that’s not really always logical, it feels like that.

Have you ever reread the words from a political speech a few days later or suddenly remembered part of what was said?  You might find yourself pursing your lips, nodding your head, and agreeing that that was a “pretty good line.”

The words connected.

But the conversation didn’t.

And that’s where most of us fail.

Shameless politician, selfish sales executive, frustrating spouse — they all have something in common.  They use the “right” words and have all the wrong conversations.

It’s a big problem and something that can derail your ability to achieve outrageous success.

Whether you are a public speaker standing behind the lectern or a consultant working one-on-one with a client, here are four simple tips to having better conversations.

1. Talk like a normal person – Stop with the buzz words.  Sure you know all the jargon and industry speak.  That’s why you are the one speaking.  Just don’t assume that we all know anything you are talking about.  Normal people say “dude” and “yo” and avoid discussion around “expanding knowledge economies”.  When you make me feel like an idiot, I want to have a conversation with someone else.
2. Hold eye contact – Don’t just glance at the people you are talking with.  Maintain a visual connection.  And when they look back, resist the urge to look down.  Ohh…. and don’t be creepy.  The unblinking stare is just a.w.k.w.a.r.d.  Look at my eyes and feel my soul.  I want to talk with you wen you understand my pain.
3. Be an emotional human — Share a vulnerable moment.  Be funny.  Talk about when you screwed up last.  Don’t pretend like you’ve never had it bad before.  Not only is that “uncool”, it’s just not realistic.  How can you expect the rest of us to keep listening when we have nothing in common?
4. Move around – Be active.  If you are standing behind the lectern, move your hands and pump your legs.  You don’t need to run in place, but you draw the crowd into your conversation when you are passionate.  And even if you are one-on-one, get involved in your own conversation — let your body amplify what is coming out of your lips.

Remember, it’s not about gimmicks or manipulation.  It’s about you putting in place the details that enable you to communicate better.

Stop talking. Share.

The words don’t really matter.

It’s the conversation that matters

If we just need words, we all have a tape recorder we can play…

“Dude, you’re just freak’n lazy…”

Not you.  That was me about 35 minutes into a boring explanation from a lazy executive about why he couldn’t launch his business in the right direction.

I did apologize.  As edgy as I am, I try to be kind, but this was too much.  It burst right out of my lips.  

And it was true.

It’s something that I have been noticing more over the last few months.

Despite the fear, the loss, and the uncertainty from the worst period in business history in 8 decades it seems that we are doing less than ever.  It just doesn’t add up.

Were we always this content to fail? And then whine about it as if success has nothing to do with the amount of effort that we invest?

So you’re a big-shot executive that is under-employed right now.  Whey can’t you get a second job in retail or work nights doing security at a gas station or delivering pizzas?

My great grandparents sold match-sticks for a penny a piece during the Great Depression — when a loaf of bread cost about a dime.  They were out of work at their factories and yet scrapping with every ounce of effort to realize their dreams

It was a culture of effort back then.

And I miss it sometimes.  Great minds help us do great things.  But we actually have to do something.

Effort is the great equalizer.

Don’t get me wrong; we aren’t doing nothing.  We have jobs (usually), a business, and a fancy title or two.

Our LinkedIn profile is well scripted and our business card says “Consultant”.

But when you cut through all the fluff, here’s what you come to realize –  we aren’t doing enough.

Not even the bare minimum.

It’s less than that.

It’s poor, lazy behavior.  In every sense of the idea.

I’m not even sure how we got to this point.

1. We talk ourselves out of action before we even get started.
2. We spend emotion looking good rather then getting results.
3. We debate the plan rather than working on it.
4. We discourage our competition rather than letting it motivate us.
5. We make excuses for our mediocrity.

It takes more.

See.  Here’s a little secret for you:

Doing the bare minimum is really all you need to be successful.

The bare minimum is enough.

But that might be more than you are doing right now.

Is it time for more?

Let’s be very clear about something.

Horrible customer service is the fastest way to drive your dreams into bankruptcy.

No amount of whining, whimpering, and halfhearted excuse-making can remedy selfish behavior.

Sure — the late 1990′s brought us the age of “more selling, less service”.  And that certainly sounds logical, right?

After all we are emerging from the worst buying environment in more than eight decades.  It would seem that you need to “get out there” more than ever.

It’s that “Stop being an order taker and start being a whale hunter…”type of sales preaching.

Admit it.  You’ve had a sales manager get “up in your business” telling you that you need more cold calls and more ways to “fill the funnel”.  Right?

And…  your manager if probably right.

Being proactive has never been more in style.

But chasing new customers is the slowest way to grow your business.

It takes massive amounts of time and more times than not doesn’t even work.  You chase.  They stay out of reach.

Somehow the easiest revenue strategy — investing in the relationships you already have — seems to be the solution that we avoid at all costs.

Think about the last time that you actually reached out to an old customer.  You needed something right — more money, a referral, your invoice paid a little faster?

Anything else is just flat out annoying.  It’s a waste of your time.  After all you’ve closed the deal already.  You’re not a babysitter, cheerleader, or someone who let’s people take advantage of them.  Right?

Well guess what?  That plan stinks.

You need to stop whining about not winning and start serving.

When was the last time that you provided an outrageous customer experience?

Not answered a question or returned a phone call within 24 hours.  That’s all considered the bare minimum.

When did you make your customer feel so special and cared for that they became ravenous fans?

Instead we tell ourselves that chasing the next big deal is the right direction.

Maybe it’s because we’re too embarrassed to admit that we just don’t care enough to be the high performer that we pretend to be.

Maybe fixing our service was the answer all along.