12 Ways To Beat Your Critics.

Everybody has an opinion.
Sometimes you wish other people kept their opinion to themselves.

Criticism hurts.

No matter how thick a skin you have, it’s hard not to get worn down by other people’s negative opinions.

You can spend weeks, months, even years being the best at what you do and it all seems to fall apart when that one person misjudges your priorities and mocks your intentions.

It makes you angry. You’re frustrated and confused.  It makes you want to give up.

But that’s what the critics expect from you.  They want you to go away. Which leaves you only one option

To beat the critics at their own game.

Instead of running away, you have to change how you look at criticism.  You have to reframe the negative feedback to your advantage.

Here are a few ideas to help you:

1. State your intentions more clearly (up front) next time.

2. Practice what still feels uncomfortable.

3. Apologize if you’ve offended someone else (even accidentally close).

4. Take notes on what did not get criticized.

5. Resist the urge to defend yourself publicly.

6. Be brutally honest about how much preparation you actually put into the project.

7. Ask for professional help (i.e. pay for a coach or therapist).

8. Write down how you’re going to do it the next time.

9. Spend time each day meditating on your mission.

10. Try it again (and again and again and again).

11. Focus on helping someone else instead of staying mad.

12. Take a breath.  Let off some steam.  Take another breath.

Beating the critics isn’t really about the critics at all.

It’s about you.

It’s about how you feel when things go wrong. It’s about your motivation. It’s about your reason for doing what you do.

It’s all too easy to just do things because people agree with you. That’s easy.

What is hard is to practice and prepare day after day until you get it right.

But that’s also the way you beat your critics.

You beat your self.

You beat back the fear and frustration and your pain and focus on “why” you do what you’re doing.  And an amazing thing begins to happen.

The clarity of your focus and the extra hard work combine to not just build your own confidence but allow you to see the people that you’re actually helping.  And then it doesn’t matter what the experts say.  Because you can see the good that you’re doing all around you.

You can see you’ve beaten the critics.

0 Replies to “12 Ways To Beat Your Critics.”

  1. Hey Dan just a wonderful post! All your points are awesome. #12 was a nice way to finish the list section:
    Take a breath, let off some steam, take another breath” – PERFECT!

    It helps more than most people know, and gets you focused again!

    Take care,
    Tim

      1. For sure! I don’t know how many times I have been driving around, or sitting in my office over the past few years, and deep the deep breath thing! Long deep breaths in, hold it, then breath out. It does really works well, when the brain is spinning really fast!

  2. Hey Dan just a wonderful post! All your points are awesome. #12 was a nice way to finish the list section:
    Take a breath, let off some steam, take another breath” – PERFECT!

    It helps more than most people know, and gets you focused again!

    Take care,
    Tim

      1. For sure! I don’t know how many times I have been driving around, or sitting in my office over the past few years, and deep the deep breath thing! Long deep breaths in, hold it, then breath out. It does really works well, when the brain is spinning really fast!

  3. Hey Dan just a wonderful post! All your points are awesome. #12 was a nice way to finish the list section:
    Take a breath, let off some steam, take another breath” – PERFECT!

    It helps more than most people know, and gets you focused again!

    Take care,
    Tim

      1. For sure! I don’t know how many times I have been driving around, or sitting in my office over the past few years, and deep the deep breath thing! Long deep breaths in, hold it, then breath out. It does really works well, when the brain is spinning really fast!

  4. Hey Dan just a wonderful post! All your points are awesome. #12 was a nice way to finish the list section:
    Take a breath, let off some steam, take another breath” – PERFECT!

    It helps more than most people know, and gets you focused again!

    Take care,
    Tim

      1. For sure! I don’t know how many times I have been driving around, or sitting in my office over the past few years, and deep the deep breath thing! Long deep breaths in, hold it, then breath out. It does really works well, when the brain is spinning really fast!

  5. Hey Dan just a wonderful post! All your points are awesome. #12 was a nice way to finish the list section:
    Take a breath, let off some steam, take another breath” – PERFECT!

    It helps more than most people know, and gets you focused again!

    Take care,
    Tim

      1. For sure! I don’t know how many times I have been driving around, or sitting in my office over the past few years, and deep the deep breath thing! Long deep breaths in, hold it, then breath out. It does really works well, when the brain is spinning really fast!

  6. Hey Dan just a wonderful post! All your points are awesome. #12 was a nice way to finish the list section:
    Take a breath, let off some steam, take another breath” – PERFECT!

    It helps more than most people know, and gets you focused again!

    Take care,
    Tim

      1. For sure! I don’t know how many times I have been driving around, or sitting in my office over the past few years, and deep the deep breath thing! Long deep breaths in, hold it, then breath out. It does really works well, when the brain is spinning really fast!

  7. Dan…I am riding with #11.  On a somewhat related note…I’ve seen people in organizations pile up accomplishments and receive consistent promotions over decades…and then they run into someone that doesn’t see the world the way they do…then months later…they are out of a job.  I find this fascinating.  This post provides some simple tools that could prevent this from happening.

    1. I do agree with you about how fleeting “fame” (or accomplishment) can be in the enterprise.  One minute you’re on top of the world, the next you’re scrambling for your paycheck.  
      A deep breath and a kind word go a long way towards you staying engaged and valued…

      Dan

  8. Dan…I am riding with #11.  On a somewhat related note…I’ve seen people in organizations pile up accomplishments and receive consistent promotions over decades…and then they run into someone that doesn’t see the world the way they do…then months later…they are out of a job.  I find this fascinating.  This post provides some simple tools that could prevent this from happening.

    1. I do agree with you about how fleeting “fame” (or accomplishment) can be in the enterprise.  One minute you’re on top of the world, the next you’re scrambling for your paycheck.  
      A deep breath and a kind word go a long way towards you staying engaged and valued…

      Dan

  9. Dan…I am riding with #11.  On a somewhat related note…I’ve seen people in organizations pile up accomplishments and receive consistent promotions over decades…and then they run into someone that doesn’t see the world the way they do…then months later…they are out of a job.  I find this fascinating.  This post provides some simple tools that could prevent this from happening.

    1. I do agree with you about how fleeting “fame” (or accomplishment) can be in the enterprise.  One minute you’re on top of the world, the next you’re scrambling for your paycheck.  
      A deep breath and a kind word go a long way towards you staying engaged and valued…

      Dan

  10. Dan…I am riding with #11.  On a somewhat related note…I’ve seen people in organizations pile up accomplishments and receive consistent promotions over decades…and then they run into someone that doesn’t see the world the way they do…then months later…they are out of a job.  I find this fascinating.  This post provides some simple tools that could prevent this from happening.

    1. I do agree with you about how fleeting “fame” (or accomplishment) can be in the enterprise.  One minute you’re on top of the world, the next you’re scrambling for your paycheck.  
      A deep breath and a kind word go a long way towards you staying engaged and valued…

      Dan

  11. Dan…I am riding with #11.  On a somewhat related note…I’ve seen people in organizations pile up accomplishments and receive consistent promotions over decades…and then they run into someone that doesn’t see the world the way they do…then months later…they are out of a job.  I find this fascinating.  This post provides some simple tools that could prevent this from happening.

    1. I do agree with you about how fleeting “fame” (or accomplishment) can be in the enterprise.  One minute you’re on top of the world, the next you’re scrambling for your paycheck.  
      A deep breath and a kind word go a long way towards you staying engaged and valued…

      Dan

  12. Dan…I am riding with #11.  On a somewhat related note…I’ve seen people in organizations pile up accomplishments and receive consistent promotions over decades…and then they run into someone that doesn’t see the world the way they do…then months later…they are out of a job.  I find this fascinating.  This post provides some simple tools that could prevent this from happening.

    1. I do agree with you about how fleeting “fame” (or accomplishment) can be in the enterprise.  One minute you’re on top of the world, the next you’re scrambling for your paycheck.  
      A deep breath and a kind word go a long way towards you staying engaged and valued…

      Dan

  13. This is a topic that is seldom covered yet more present in political positioning in business or corporate life far more often than people are willing to discuss; nobody wants to be pegged a “whiner” so they keep it to themselves or most trusted confidantes;  reality criticism exists in an underhanded, passive manner.  Some people don’t realize they’ve been victimized until someone steps up to be brutally honest.  Such a double edged sword truly — how do you accept criticism without allowing it destroy your confidence?  Read this, of course!  I’d love to read another article by you, Dan, on how you differentiate criticism from character assassination with the underlying theme of politics.

    1. You bring up some good questions.  Hard questions, in fact.
      Confidence is a fickle friend.  One minute you’re on top of the world and the next you are scrambling to try to stop the free fall.

      I like to use the “responsibility”.  If I am wrong then I admit it and move on — even if the critique came someone trying to “assassinate” me.  By taking responsibility I teach myself to continually improve.  I always get better.  

      Knowing that gives me much more confidence.  The more you take responsibility for the more opportunity you have to change your future.  

      Dan

  14. This is a topic that is seldom covered yet more present in political positioning in business or corporate life far more often than people are willing to discuss; nobody wants to be pegged a “whiner” so they keep it to themselves or most trusted confidantes;  reality criticism exists in an underhanded, passive manner.  Some people don’t realize they’ve been victimized until someone steps up to be brutally honest.  Such a double edged sword truly — how do you accept criticism without allowing it destroy your confidence?  Read this, of course!  I’d love to read another article by you, Dan, on how you differentiate criticism from character assassination with the underlying theme of politics.

    1. You bring up some good questions.  Hard questions, in fact.
      Confidence is a fickle friend.  One minute you’re on top of the world and the next you are scrambling to try to stop the free fall.

      I like to use the “responsibility”.  If I am wrong then I admit it and move on — even if the critique came someone trying to “assassinate” me.  By taking responsibility I teach myself to continually improve.  I always get better.  

      Knowing that gives me much more confidence.  The more you take responsibility for the more opportunity you have to change your future.  

      Dan

  15. This is a topic that is seldom covered yet more present in political positioning in business or corporate life far more often than people are willing to discuss; nobody wants to be pegged a “whiner” so they keep it to themselves or most trusted confidantes;  reality criticism exists in an underhanded, passive manner.  Some people don’t realize they’ve been victimized until someone steps up to be brutally honest.  Such a double edged sword truly — how do you accept criticism without allowing it destroy your confidence?  Read this, of course!  I’d love to read another article by you, Dan, on how you differentiate criticism from character assassination with the underlying theme of politics.

    1. You bring up some good questions.  Hard questions, in fact.
      Confidence is a fickle friend.  One minute you’re on top of the world and the next you are scrambling to try to stop the free fall.

      I like to use the “responsibility”.  If I am wrong then I admit it and move on — even if the critique came someone trying to “assassinate” me.  By taking responsibility I teach myself to continually improve.  I always get better.  

      Knowing that gives me much more confidence.  The more you take responsibility for the more opportunity you have to change your future.  

      Dan

  16. This is a topic that is seldom covered yet more present in political positioning in business or corporate life far more often than people are willing to discuss; nobody wants to be pegged a “whiner” so they keep it to themselves or most trusted confidantes;  reality criticism exists in an underhanded, passive manner.  Some people don’t realize they’ve been victimized until someone steps up to be brutally honest.  Such a double edged sword truly — how do you accept criticism without allowing it destroy your confidence?  Read this, of course!  I’d love to read another article by you, Dan, on how you differentiate criticism from character assassination with the underlying theme of politics.

    1. You bring up some good questions.  Hard questions, in fact.
      Confidence is a fickle friend.  One minute you’re on top of the world and the next you are scrambling to try to stop the free fall.

      I like to use the “responsibility”.  If I am wrong then I admit it and move on — even if the critique came someone trying to “assassinate” me.  By taking responsibility I teach myself to continually improve.  I always get better.  

      Knowing that gives me much more confidence.  The more you take responsibility for the more opportunity you have to change your future.  

      Dan

  17. This is a topic that is seldom covered yet more present in political positioning in business or corporate life far more often than people are willing to discuss; nobody wants to be pegged a “whiner” so they keep it to themselves or most trusted confidantes;  reality criticism exists in an underhanded, passive manner.  Some people don’t realize they’ve been victimized until someone steps up to be brutally honest.  Such a double edged sword truly — how do you accept criticism without allowing it destroy your confidence?  Read this, of course!  I’d love to read another article by you, Dan, on how you differentiate criticism from character assassination with the underlying theme of politics.

    1. You bring up some good questions.  Hard questions, in fact.
      Confidence is a fickle friend.  One minute you’re on top of the world and the next you are scrambling to try to stop the free fall.

      I like to use the “responsibility”.  If I am wrong then I admit it and move on — even if the critique came someone trying to “assassinate” me.  By taking responsibility I teach myself to continually improve.  I always get better.  

      Knowing that gives me much more confidence.  The more you take responsibility for the more opportunity you have to change your future.  

      Dan

  18. This is a topic that is seldom covered yet more present in political positioning in business or corporate life far more often than people are willing to discuss; nobody wants to be pegged a “whiner” so they keep it to themselves or most trusted confidantes;  reality criticism exists in an underhanded, passive manner.  Some people don’t realize they’ve been victimized until someone steps up to be brutally honest.  Such a double edged sword truly — how do you accept criticism without allowing it destroy your confidence?  Read this, of course!  I’d love to read another article by you, Dan, on how you differentiate criticism from character assassination with the underlying theme of politics.

    1. You bring up some good questions.  Hard questions, in fact.
      Confidence is a fickle friend.  One minute you’re on top of the world and the next you are scrambling to try to stop the free fall.

      I like to use the “responsibility”.  If I am wrong then I admit it and move on — even if the critique came someone trying to “assassinate” me.  By taking responsibility I teach myself to continually improve.  I always get better.  

      Knowing that gives me much more confidence.  The more you take responsibility for the more opportunity you have to change your future.  

      Dan

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