Why You Won’t Be Seeing Me Around Much Any More. 

We can’t be friends anymore. In fact, I’m not sure we’ve ever been friends.
You keep telling me that you want to “keep my feet on the ground.” But that’s not where I want to be.

I want to soar. I want to climb. I want to rise above the obstacle standing in my way. And I can’t do that stuck in the muck of your negativity.

I don’t want you to try to bring me down — for whatever reason you might give me.

I need you to give me lift.

I need you to challenge me to dream bigger, live stronger, and stick with it longer.

It seems like we’re enemies. In fact, I think we are.

You want something for me that I don’t want for me. You keep trying to bring me down and I’m trying to propel myself up and forward.

And why  do you keep telling me “that will never work” or “you need to be realistic”?

How do you know what I can do?

How do you know my capabilities better than I do?

Why is it that you’re the person who gets to define what is reasonable behavior?

I’ve thought a lot about this and come to the conclusion that no amount of passionate dialogue, logical debate, screaming, yelling, or any other type of dialogue will change your lousy attitude.

And frankly, I can’t let your negativity destroy my world.

I can’t let your fear and anxiety add to my own fear and anxiety.

I’m already scared enough as it is.

The last thing I need is your negativity bringing me down even more.

That’s why you won’t be seeing me around anymore. I can’t hang around with people like you.

I can’t be a high performer and listen to your negativity. Something dies inside me each time I listen to your take on the world — and especially my dreams for changing the world.

So I will be avoiding you.

Maybe someday in the future I’ll be better prepared and stronger emotionally to handle your negativity. But for now, my dreams mean too much to me.

I have to fight to protect them.

0 Replies to “Why You Won’t Be Seeing Me Around Much Any More. ”

  1. This is EXACTLY the courageous conversation I had with several longtime friends, colleagues, and even those I’ve been close to in my church community… I am running lighter, flying higher… The temporary pain of a clean cut was so much healthier than letting it ooze (because it was mostly me who was losing)!!!
    Go Dan, Go!

    1. Ouch. Isn’t it crazy how often these negative experiences and negative people are somehow church related? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten comfortable with that. Troubles me.
      By the way, kudos to you for having the guts to do what most people wish they could do — move on. Sounds like you are ready to take flight. Do it. Soar.

      Tell me how it all goes. I imagine it’s going to be pretty exciting.


      1. That “trouble” of which you speak… there is a book in me somewhere about that.
        It has been one year now, and it is amazing that at age 50+ I am finally living in the sweet spot of my life trajectory! Upon stepping out from certain “individuals” not necessarily the “community” — and there is a difference — my 24-year-old daughter wrote me this gorgeous note. To me, it says it all,

        “I just want you to know how proud of you I am. I think you are an incredible woman, friend, and mother. You have a generous heart that is genuine. A quality more should have. You are understanding and confident. Straight forward and amicable. Though you may been seen as intimidating by some you are also respected. I am happy to see all the amazing things happening in your life. We can only soar when we let go of what has weighed us down. I love you so much!”

  2. Love this. Wherever there are people, there are those who will try to pull us down; either consciously or subconsciously. It could be at work, church, in families, anywhere. Fortunately, we have to ability to choose what we listen to, and for the most part, who we associate with. Know your mission in life, and hang with those who fit within that mission. Let God handle the rest.

  3. Dan this is so serendipitous for me today. I’m a little behind on reading your blog. It appears it was meant to be. The sick feeling I have had in my stomach for 11 hours is starting to fade. Thank you for sharing this.

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