You can’t hold on to the past and move rapidly towards your future. You’re living each day inside a rubber band that keeps pulling you back.
Just about the time you think you’ve moved forward and made progress you realize that you’re back in the middle of your anger and misery from the past. Snapped back from greatness.
Which is what you have to let the past go. You have to forgive.
Not forget. Forgive.
It doesn’t excuse what other people have done to you. You’re not letting anyone off the hook.
You’re not making it right with them. You’re making your life right for you.
You’re cutting the ties that keep pulling you back. You’re breaking the connection.
By forgiving, you find the superpower hidden under the rubble of your rage.
You thought that if you were angry enough, the world would find a way to heal your pain and despair.
You thought that if you obsessed about justice for that person who did you wrong, that the hole in your heart would begin to heal.
But you were wrong.
Looking back you see that over time, you’ve let that pain and frustration rob you of your destiny.
The only thing that breaks the tie to your past is forgiveness.
You have to let go. It won’t be easy. It’s not for them. It’s for you.
It’s not something you do one time and magically you feel better. It’s a series of purposeful decisions.
To begin, you have to relive the past. You have to go back to that moment when you were hurt and relive the experience. Feel the pain. Feel the shame.
And then you say “I forgive you.” Out loud. “I forgive you.” At first, the words won’t mean much more than a phrase.
Just a sentence. A few words.
But don’t give up until you feel the forgiveness.
What must have that other person been going through themselves to hurt you so badly? What emptiness and fear, panic and hate must consume them?
And so that right now, so that you can move on, it’s time to forgive.
It’s a purposeful decision for you.
Deliberate. Something you know you need to do.
Something you’ve been needing to do for some time now.
You’re making the decision that where you want to go is too important to be held back by the pain and fear you’ve been holding on to.
Forgive. Then move forward.